Best System To Approach?

There's been a lot of debate on indirect versus direct game, what's better. The truth is they both work. Guys have been getting laid forever using all types of methods, lines, and techniques. "Direct" is more of an approach where you state your attentions. You're basically hitting on the girl. She knows from your approach what's going on and what you're there for.

"Indirect" is when your approach is ambiguous. Are you hitting on her or not? She doesn't know. You're kind of conveying this aloofness at the same time you're conveying active disinterest. Indirect approaching is making her work toward getting you to take interest. Indirect is not showing interest until later on when she's earned it. Typically, I've found indirect approaching is going to get you the most consistent results. I'm not saying direct approach doesn't work, but it's not going to work the highest percentage of time with the hottest women.

The reason most guys crash and burn is because they're conveying that they want something. The second the girl picks up that you want something you're blown out, unless she's into it.

As soon as you get an indicator of interest or a statement of intent, whether you're using body language, speech, anything like that, the second she realized you want something she's going to decide right then and there, "should I go with this or not?" Most of the time if it's too early on and you didn't convey enough personality she's going to say "no.".

As long as you stay talking, girls will stay there. You just don't crash and burn, you can't, because you're not conveying so much interest and you don't want something. You're not presenting the opportunity for them to blow you out.

With the indirect approaches, it's more or less you screening the girl for what you want. With the direct approach, she's screening you because she knows what's going on and what your intent is. So you're going to have to keep proving yourself to stay in there so she won't reject you. With indirect, you're choosing the girl, you're making he earn it, you're qualifying her, she's qualifying herself to you. You're using the punishment/reward methodology. You apparently have no interest, so she's got to get you interested. By the end of the time, she's going to do a lot of things that are going to make her earn it. She's going to work hard. She knows that. She knows she's working for it and she's going to appreciate it even more. You'll get better results that way.

There's also an idea that every other guy uses a direct approaches with women, and if you're indirect, then you're making yourself stand out from other guys. Look at these guys who crash and burn with women. Look what they're doing. They're learning in, touching, complimenting her.. be different, be a different. Do something the girls haven't experienced before. It's almost like you're insulting them, because you're coming up to them and just talking, using body language that's conveying not interest. Right from the opener you're getting them trying to earn it, have them qualify themselves to you. It's completely different from what they're used to.

What you're doing is basically talking all the power away from them. The ball is in your court. I know a lot of you guys have heard "be a man, don't apologize for your desires, let them know what you want, claim what's yours, tell them," stuff like that. That's okay. It's a lot of that tough guy rhetoric. But even with the indirect approach, a lot of guys criticize it. "You're not making your intentions known, how are the girls going to know you're the right one?" Trust me. With indirect, all the power is yours. You can be the one when you want. There's the place for that. You will make your desires known, but at the right time.

Read more...

Get Rid Your Bad Behaviors...

Just realize this one : People learn bad behaviors and develop bad beliefs as a result of their experiences growing up. In this particular circumstance, we are referring to behaviors and beliefs that involve social interaction with women, and our own self-esteem.

Most of these beliefs and behaviors are unconsciously learned by us and work counter to our goals of success. Things like :

- I'm too old, ugly, or fat, no girl would want me

- I get too nervous to talk to women

- I'm afraid of rejection

- Whenever I talk to a girl, I say dumb things

The list goes on. But all of the above are beliefs or behaviors that hinder us from getting what we want. In order to have success, we must change how we behave and think to a more positive direction.

But how are we supposed to do that? It's easy to SAY you have to change, but to actually do it is far more difficult.

But it can be done

You have to unlearn what you had learned before.

But how do you rid away and unlearn a behavior? Aren't those things ingrained in your being?

NO!

Behaviors are just learned responses to certain stimuli. If you're afraid to meet beautiful women, sometime in your life, you LEARNED to associate fear with talking to a beautiful woman.

One way you can change your behavior is by adopting Reciprocal Behaviors.

Reciprocal behaviors are reactions that compete with each other. If a reciprocal reaction can be evoked in a situation that usually elicits a different response, the old reaction can be weakened.

Learning occurs as the new response grows stronger and the old response grows weaker. Relaxation is reciprocal to anxiety, assertiveness is reciprocal to shyness, and positive thoughts are contradictory to negative thoughts. These reciprocal reactions will weaken their less desirable counterparts only if they can be evoked under conditions that would normally elicit the old reactions.

For instance, college students may do well in a course, but show few lasting signs outside of class that they have mastered the material.

Likewise, let's say you go out and buy an book or course on how to improve your love life. You may read and approve of the book while continuing to behave as you always have, with no real change taking place.

A course or a book contains alternative sets of reactions. If these reactions are not practiced in contexts where they can compete with already established reactions, those established reactions will not be displaces. The real life application of what has been learned will be lacking!

If you really want to change, you have to go out into the field and apply the behaviors that you want to instill within you. To do this, you must engage in situations where the old feelings and behaviors spring up.

This is why I always repeat the words : The field is king. Respect the field.

Change is a step process. You must first figure out what situation evokes what negative behavior or feeling, then expose yourself to varying degrees of that situation until you feel completely comfortable with it. Then, advance to the next level until it, too, has been mastered and, finally, to the situation that would normally evoke the most powerful negative response.

For instance, let's say you can't ask a woman for her phone number because you're just too scared. What you can do is start by simply making eye contact with women you find attractive. After you're comfortable with that, make eye contact and smile. After that, make eye contact, smile, and say "Hi". After that, ask them what their name is. Then, add in an opener you memorized. Keep adding in behaviors until you master being able to get her phone number.

The systematic aspect of his desensitization technique is critical to your success. Sink or swim methods like "throwing you into the flames" that most workshops abide by can be less successful and much more stressful. Moreover, sink or swim methods may make the symptoms worse by re-enforcing your negative beliefs.

However, it is not always practical for someone to be desensitized by confronting real situations.

Real-life hierarchies can be inconvenient to arrange and difficult to control. Fortunately, it is not always necessary for you to confront real situations in order to change your behavior in these situations. If you have a vivid imagination and respond to images of a situation in the same way you respond to the situation itself, it's possible for you to re-educate yourself at home or in the office.

It is still important, that you not imagine situations that are too intense! To do so would risk eliciting and reinforcing the old reactions instead of practicing the new ones. Instead, a hierarchy of imaginary situations must be developed so that the you can effectively evoke the beneficial reactions at each level. So in the example above, you imagine making eye contact with ten women with positive responses, then imagine making eye contact and smiling, etc.

What these exercises do is level the playing field. They give you Tabula Rasa (Latin for "blank slate") from which you can create your own behavior and responses.

It's a long, hard task to undertake, but if you can do it, it can be very rewarding.

Read more...

Make Your Inner Game Shine

Yes, you read it right, just make your inner game shine if you want to attract woman. And probably it is the most important aspect of success, with women, in life, in the workplace, is that of "inner game", or your own personal emotions and beliefs. We can call it inner game, because in the game of life, this has to deal with your inner most self. It's the one thing you have the most control over, and it's the one thing that influences all those around you.

Inner game can be a very difficult beast to be handled, because it has to do with how you see the world around you. If you look at talking to a woman as an opportunity to be rejected, that's how you're body will react. If you look at is as something fun to do, you'll also react accordingly.

This is where things like approach anxiety comes from.

If you want to get over approach anxiety, if you want to get confidence, just do it. Go out by yourself. Go out to a club all the way uptown or downtown. People aren't going to see you again. Just crash and burn a few times. It happens all the time. You want to just put yourself out there, get shot down. Get blown out. It's funny. Go with a wingman. Play a game. See who can get blown out the most. See who can approach the most girls. By the end of it you guys will have the funniest stories.

It's bad for about two seconds afterward, but you laugh about it, and with your wingman. It's funny and no one says anything. It's not a big deal. I think it's a real confidence builder. Just going out there, getting shot down, realizing what it's like. It's not that bad. More often than not, you go with that mindset (have fun) and your interactions with women will open up.

Just by getting that initial contact within minutes you will feel so great about yourself. You went out. You did it. You got your foot in the door. Half of this stuff is just getting your foot in the door. Once you get your foot in the door, it's not that hard.

Ask yourself: How are you going to be different? That's how you have to be to get your foot in the door.

This kind of thing can be painful at first, but with experience it passes. Try to visualize positive outcomes to your endeavors, and if things go badly, shrug it off as a "learning experience" and don't make the same mistake twice.

In school, you don't get every math problem right, and you don't pass every test. That's be you're learning. You're accruing knowledge to be used later on. When you first started learning math, an equation like 5+6 was difficult. But the older you got and the more math you did, and equation like that eventually became easy.

With women, the learning process is still there. Guys who are good with women learned what works very early on. Guys who have trouble with women are still on that learning curve. The only difference between women and math is that we put more importance on the outcome of approaching a girl than we do on getting an equation right.

Take a good hard look at yourself. Look at what is holding you back. Look at the negative beliefs you have that keep you from getting what you want, and then challenge those beliefs. You will slip back into them from time to time. This is normal. The important things to keep in mind is to not let them dominate you.

After a bad night, it's easy to fall back on beliefs like "no women like me," "I'm not good looking enough," "I'll die alone," etc. But the thing you must remember is that everyone goes through these kind of self-defeating ideas in their lives. Even the guys who are good with women.

The difference comes down to the notion of whether or not you're going to give up the pursuit of what you want because of those beliefs, or if you're going to power through the tough times and actually get what you want.

The thing that separates winners from losers is sheer determination. Ever hear that old saying "slow and steady wins the race?" That saying is very true indeed. It means that people who keep moving forward, no matter how slow, no matter what obstacles, will eventually get what they want. If you allow yourself to burn out or quit just because the going gets rough, you'll never achieve what you want.

Read more...

This Suit Makes Me Look So Handsome...

Let's start this again... Looks aren't THAT important, but the fact is, looking good IS important.

This means, if you're hoping to attract women, we'd say looking good is vital.

Some of you may be confused at this notion, so let's make all of this clear. There is a difference between being good looking, and looking good.

Being good looking has to do with uncontrollable elements of your appearance. Things like your height, your facial gestures, etc. It's the things that naturally make you appealing (or unappealing).

Looking good has to do with the elements you can control. Things like your clothes, your hair, your style, etc.

A friend of mine who gets laid by tons of beautiful women is a short, skinny, bald. He's not a good looking dude by any stretch of the imagination, but the guy is COOL. He shaves his head clean, he's grown some cool facial hair, he wears stylish clothes and accessories. He has a look that transforms him from a short, skinny, bald into a cool short, skinny, bald guy. There's a big difference there. And it's a difference girls notice.

Personally, almost every of us a t-shirt and jeans type of guy. Really simple to wear. That look didn't get us too far. Why? Because almost every of us has a same style! It's too generic and lazy of a look.

Women spend a lot of time on their appearance, and because of that, they are sensitized to the effort other people put into their appearance. They can tell which guys don't care about how they look, and which guys put stock into their own appearance.

This is important because guys who do care about how they look convey a sort of self-respect that might be absent in others, and girls respond to that because it's a shared commonality. They can understand it.

Now, We are not talking about becoming a metrosexual here. We are talking about taking pride in your appearance and developing your own style of dress. Things like wearing clean shirts, pressed suits, etc, can go a long way to making an average guy look good.

Other things like choosing some cool shoes, having an interesting watch, wearing jewelry, having a good haircut and near facial hair, etc, when used in tandem with some nice clothes, can make an average guy look like a million bucks.

And there are styles for all kinds of body types. There are ways fat guys can dress to look thinner, there are ways skinny guys can dress to look thicker. The possibilities are endless, and unlike your natural looks, you DO have control over this aspect of your life.

So take pride in your appearance, and put forth an effort to look good before going out in public. It's important, and women will notice.

Read more...

Do I Look Weird?

All of you must keep this on your mind, always... Looks aren't that important.

Notice, that I didn't say looks AREN'T important, but i said looks aren't THAT important.

There's big difference there.

Looks are important to an extent, but not as important as you may think. Most women have a lot of leeway in what they find attractive in a man, and this is can be used to your advantage.

Many guys think girls look at men the way men look at women. When a man looks at a woman, he judges whether or not he's attracted to her based on her looks. If she's overweight, has the wrong hair color, if her nose is too big... whatever it may be, the man may dismiss her completely, regardless of whether or not she's a really great girl.

Because men look at women that way, it's natural for men to assume that's how women appraise us.

This belief is both true, but at the same time misleading.

Women do take looks into account, but in the overall scheme of things, to women, looks play a smaller role in deciding whether they want to go with you or not.

Let's take an example here. i have a friend, he used to date a girl he was madly in love with. But because he was slightly overweight, he was always depressed, feeling he didn't deserve a girl like her. This bad attitude of him eventually ended up driving her away.

But he and the girl stayed friends, and as time went on, she met another guy that she fell in love with. Eventually, he went to visit her and met her new beau, and to my surprise, he discovered this guy was 10x fatter than he ever was! Seriously, this guy had a good 100 pounds than my friend.

The difference was, even though this guy was fatter and not as good looking as he was, this guy didn't care. He allowed his good traits to shine, whereas my friend allowed his feeling to dwell on his bad qualities.

Remember that women are emotional creatures by nature. They are more in-tune with how they feel and therefore more susceptible to their emotions.

What does this mean?

That women may immediately be attracted to a good looking guy because because he makes her FEEL GOOD right away. But if that same good looking guy is mean, or dumb, or turns her off in other ways and makes her feel bad feelings, she may decide she really isn't attracted to him at all.

Also, factor in that not all women are attracted to the same type of guy. Just like all men aren't attracted to the same type of women. Some women may prefer short men, or men with long hair, or fat men, etc.

It comes down to this: You don't know WHAT physical type a woman is going to be attracted to. So approach her anyway and find out if you're the one.

Read more...

What is a Routine?

So what is this a routine? A Routine is just a set piece of entertainment that is customary and mechanically performed. It's a detailed course of action to be followed regularly, or even we can call it as a standard procedure. Routines are old hats you can fall back on at any time in order to receive a standard and predictable response. For instance, stand-up comedians usually practice "routines" to be used in their stage act.

When it comes to Picking up Women, routines are the building blocks of attraction. They are often designed to create interest in your targets and demonstrate your own self-worth.

But most of all, they are designed to give you control of the conversation.

Once you start a routine that is interesting, people will usually shut up and listen, which is exactly what you want them to do.

In constructing a routine, it is important to keep in mind your audience. Who are you trying to appeal to? In most cases, when it comes to picking up women, your target will be the woman you're attracted to, so you'll want to tailor your routines appropriately.

Women's interest can fall into four broad categories. They are :
1. Dating
2. Horoscopes
3. Entertainment
4. Style and Beauty

Variations of these categories are what you will use to build your routine. Women will always respond well to any combination of the above topics. The trick is using the topics in such a way that they will effectively hook your target.

So what is the best routines?. The best routines will either do one of two things. They will either make the girl laugh, or they will evoke an emotional response within her.

Both of these outcomes are desirable, because they will effectively hook your target into the conversation and demonstrate your value.

Under each of these four categories, you can come up with numerous specifics upon which to focus your routines.

For example, if you were to take Dating as the category for your routine, some options may be:
- Cheating boyfriends
- Most embarrassing moment
- long distance loving
- Online loving

Take as example, let's go with the "Cheating Boyfriend" topic. Every girl, at some point in their lives, have had to deal with a guy who was unfaithful to them or they thought was unfaithful. So in creating a routine about it, you're almost guaranteed to have it work on 99% of the girls you meet.

Now that you have the topic for your routine, it's time to create the outline for it. You need to know what elements you want to have in your routine before you go about constructing it.

So what are some things you want to include in a routine that will capture a woman's interest right from the start?

Obviously, you'd want to talk about situation she can relate to. This will cause her to pay more attention to what you have to say because it's something that directly applies to her and her life.

Then, secondly you'd want something that's going to be entertaining, so she won't get bored or distracted during the story.

Finally, you want to paint yourself as the hero of the story, or some type of counterbalance to the villain.

Here are a few ideas related to the above topics...

1. Drama

2. A Sleazy Boyfriend

3. Her emotional plight

4. You as a contrast to the sleazy boyfriend

Let's cover these one at a time.

The first point, drama, is something all women are fascinated by. Us men could care less about drama. In fact, the less dramatic our lives are, the happier we are. But women are the opposite. If they don't have some crisis in their lives or they don't have something to complain about, they seem unhappy and without purpose.

This is why soap operas and shows like that are so popular with women. It's their need for that drama they so desperately crave that puts these shows in existence.

So when you're telling your own story, you must have to make it as dramatic as possible. In other words, the more wild and outrageous you make the situation, and the more pain and suffering the characters in your story endure, the more your target will respond to it!

Next point is Sleazy Boyfriend. This is going to be the villain of your story. The worse you can make this guy, the better. If he's a drunk who beats on his girlfriend and likes to bite the heads off small animals while stealing candy from babies, you're on the right track.

The reason for this vilification is that you want your target to associate all the negative traits you're going to be listing for this guy to her former (or current) boyfriend. This is going to be important later on when you come into the story.

When it comes to your target's own emotional plight, we'll be talking about the pain and suffering the female of your story endures at the hand of her evil boyfriend. Not only doest this build up the drama, but it also creates a sympathy for the character that your target will have, so that she becomes emotionally invested in your story - to the point where she actually feels like she;s a part of what you're telling her.

And finally, we come to you as a contrast for the sleazy boyfriend. This is where you come into the story and paint yourself as everything that evil boyfriend is not. If your target is sufficiently emotionally invested in your routine, you're going to get her to connected all those positive traits with you, and that makes you more interesting, attractive, etc.

Now let's try layering in the elements we came up with earlier.

The Cheating Boyfriend Routine :

You'll never guess what happened to this friend of mine one time. My friend, Nadia, totally thought she was in love with this guy named Andri - and when I say love, i mean head-over-heels in love. This is the guy she wanted to have kids with and grow old with, you know what I'm talking about. And then one day she was on his computer to answer some email, and she found he forgot to log out of his email account, and she found all these really hot and steamy emails in his inbox! So she just knew he was cheating on her. But he wasn't just cheating on her, he was doing it with her best friend! I mean, these two girls were practically sisters, and she finds out her boyfriend has been running around with her! So when Andri gets back, Nadia walks up to him and demands to know what he's been doing with her best friend. And Andri gets so mad at Nadia for spying on him that he goes into a rage and completely trashes their apartment! Nadia seriously thought he was going to beat her up right there! But Andri ends up telling her that not only has he been sleeping with her best friend, but he's also been seeing two other women in addition to that and that he never loved her. Can you believe it? So poor Nadia was just completely devastated! Now, i don't know about you, but i would never , ever, EVER cheat on someone i was with. That's just not who I am. If I'm with someone, I'm with them. Period. And if I ever found out they cheated on me, I would dump them in a heartbeat and not feel bad about it. I mean, who would want to be with someone like that? And I don't know about you, but I treat the women I'm with so good, they'll never want to screw around behind my back.

See how that works? Now you've got a great little story you can pull out of your pocket when you're talking to a girl that helps generate interest, empathy, comfort, and eventually, attraction.

Conclusion:

Now that you know how to make your own routines, don't be afraid to try them out. Remember, the more fun and interesting your routines are, the better they'll work. Don't be afraid to test them out on women, because only by using them will you be able to find out how effective they are. You'll learn a great deal about how well a routine works by using them on women. Sometimes you'll find that they might be too long, or not long enough. Maybe they touch on too sensitive a subject. Maybe they need more humor in them. You'll never know unless you try it.

And don't be afraid if a routine doesn't go over well. That's just a girl's way of telling you it needs more work. Go into a new routine. Get even more outrageous. Make a game of it. Remember, if you're not having fun with your stories, your audience won't be either!

Read more...

How To Build A Strong "Building"?

The very good answer for that question is a good foundation. When a good foundation already in place, we can customize the design to whatever shape we ever want. So what's the relation between this strong building and love, you ask?

Do you want to get your best girl ever met? Then then answer is just same as the above question, you must have a good foundation first, how to deal with women. And the best thing to know how to deal with them is, "Don't Be Afraid To Fail". Yes, that is the best foundation.

Simple question maybe wondering on your head, so how do i get good at certain action? or task maybe? The answer for all of these, is do it, just do it. Or we can call it a Repetition.

Don't be afraid of this repetition, every skill is learned this way. This is no different with meeting women.

Just think about how you go about playing a sport, for example Baseball. Maybe you start with your dad lightly throwing a big orange ball, and you whack it with your big red over-sized bat. But eventually, you learn how to swing at a smaller ball with a thinner bat. Then the ball gets thrown faster, later, your swings get harder and harder than before. Sometime you miss more, but you keep swinging until you learn to hit that ball. Eventually, you get competent enough to notice which pitches to swing at and which to let go.

Yes, every skill can be learned.

What about women, what is the hard situation to deal with women then? The answer is emotion. Whenever we near with them, we feel not confidence. This is because many men often link the validation of their self esteem with a woman's acceptance of them. Therefore, in the emotional mind, the stakes are higher, because the pain of failure is felt more easily.

When practicing baseball, you can accept the fact that you strike out time and time again because you can train yourself to do better. You know, you're doing something wrong, and you're not afraid to strike out a 100 or 1000 more times in order just to get it better.

But when you apply that to women, just ask this to yourself: Am i ready to strike out with 100 or 1000 women in order to find one that I like and that likes me back?

Most guys will say "no" to that question. And they're the ones who stay alone and pathetic, whining that no one likes them.

The guys who do go out there and mess up with 1000 women, but find that 1 girl that will give them the time of day are the ones who are happy, because they got what they want. And next time, maybe it'll only take them 100 times, or 50, or 10, or maybe just 5 to find a girl who'll return their affections.

The fact is, meeting women is a number's game. In baseball, you won't hit a home run every time. Not every pitch of the ball is right or that. Some go wide, some you miss, some you misjudge. A few you may get a single, or a double, some you have to bunt.

So, now you get the idea. Yes, you got to go out into the world and meet women. And you got to go out there with the mindset that it's okay for you to fail when trying to find that one special girl that's gonna make your life better.

Don't be Afraid. Just repeat it until you find your best love.

The thing you must remember is, no one cares about you or your failures. Most guys know the score, they know that it's hard to pick up woman and even if you make a fool of yourself doint it, they can't blame you for trying.

Women know the score too. They get hit on all the time. To them, you're just another spoke in the wheel of the machine. Chances are, they've seen worse than you try and fail.

And in the end, the only thing people notice is success. No one cares if a woman blows you off. But you can be sure that when you're in the corner tonguing down some beautiful babe, people will notice then.

Read more...